To cheat, or not to cheat

I recently posted a blog about my upcoming pig roast in which I asked my readers to identify a few pop icon pigs. It really was not that difficult.  But if you are socially inept and culturally unaware, even Pigs in Space would have been difficult for you.  Oddly enough, it was my dad who was the first to respond.  Yes, with all the correct answers. I immediately smelled a pig.

You see, although my dad may be somewhat of a neophyte when it comes to pop culture he is, nonetheless, a very astute individual. I did not realize that when I had

Oh, Divine Pork skin

I recently consulted with a Puerto Rican restaurant owner about roasting pigs.  He is well-known in the San Antonio Puerto Rican community for his food and caters pigs often. So, I figured I better consult with an expert.  He said that roasting such a large pig for a get-together like mine, or as a hobby, should be a great experience. As a restauranteur, however, roasting large hogs is unprofitable. So, he normally sticks to the smaller variety (25-40 lbs.).

His explanation as to why, however, befuddled me (you like that word, don’ cha?). A hog this size has more fat than a smaller pig. Leonel said that people are very concerned about their health these days (hmm, this is San Antonio, one of America’s fattest cities, remember?) and thus, the large hog is not as popular. I’m not totally convinced of this explanation. People who order roasted pig are probably not so conscientious of their diet. I mean, goodness gracious, San Antonio is built on corn tortillas and refried beans. I mean, a bean and cheese taco is nothing more than lard inside lard (with cheese on top).

But even more disturbing was his assertion that non-latinos (my term, not his) are not very interested in the crispy pork skin produced by these larger hogs.  Can this really be true?  One of man’s greatest achievements to food-kind is the ability to turn pork skin into something crispy and delicious and succulent and…and…oh, I’m out of breath and I can’t think of any appropriate enough adjectives. If Anthony Bourdain was there he would have had a heart attack (that’s probably coming anyway, if you are familiar with his show).

Well, for those of you who have eaten at my home, you know that I’m all about pushing people’s paradigms about what they like or dislike, or what they THINK they like or dislike.  But maybe I shouldn’t let the cat out of the bag (or the pig off the grill, if you like). The more people that enjoy the skin, the less I get to eat.  That’s ok, I’ll get mine.

[So, first one to correctly identify all pigs in the pictures above gets an extra helping of pork skin. If you’re lucky, I’ll give you a cheek. Just leave your answers in the Comments.]

What was I thinking?!

As I mentioned before, this upcoming pig roast I am hosting will be my first time (I’m the “39 Year Old Virgin”).  I’ve given myself plenty of planning time (about 2 months) to ask a lot of questions and do some research. But when the owner of La Marginal, the Puerto Rican eatery here in town (the only one, as far as I’m concerned), heard of what I was attempting when I visited him for advice yesterday, his eyebrows raised a little bit.  Part of me was a little concerned.  “What the $!#@ was I thinking? I’ve already invited everyone!” The other part of me doesn’t care, as my wife will attest to.  I always have big plans, but never really give the details too much thought. I’ll let someone else do that. I’m a big picture kind of guy. In this situation, however, the onus is completely on me.

Although Leonel has roasted some large hogs, he prefers to to stick to the smaller ones (25-40 lbs.). Right here you are probably wondering: “What size porcine are we talking about cooking here?” Well, it needs to be about 100 lbs. based on the number of people coming. For him, as a restauranteur, the effort needed to cook a large hog is too great for the minimal return. For my purposes, however, I’ll just have to wake up early – real early.

To make things easier for me, however, I will be asking everyone to bring something. As some of you may know, I’m real picky about people bringing food to my parties. I normally have a theme and I like for my sides to match the main course. No different here, people. Very shortly you will be hearing from me and how you can help. I’ve never hosted a party where there will be more than 75 people attending, so this will be interesting.

So, back to my question: “What was I thinking?” Roasted pig, that’s what I was thinking.